If you’re anything like me, you may or may not spend a lot of time wondering if you’re a bad person. No, not like the kind of bad person who kicks puppies or enjoys 2 Broke Girls – but the kind of bad person who is more just bad-at-being-a-person. You know, the type of person who makes a habit of cutting corners or avoiding eye contact, simply to navigate around life’s more taxing moments.
Much to my chagrin, I’ve realized that I fall into the “bad-at-being-a-person” category much more often than I’d like. I’m completely guilty of “not seeing” an acquaintance at Starbucks until I’m on my way out or vegging out to Netflix so long that it asks me if I’m “still watching” multiple times.
Yes Netflix, I’m still watching!
As a personal growth exercise in becoming a better human being, I’ve compiled a short list of ways I’d like to suck a little bit less. I invite you to take this journey with me and then, if you’re so inclined, dispute all my claims and make me feel better about myself. Wait, is getting rid of my desperate need for approval something I should add to this list? I’ll put a pin in that for now…
1. Be Brave.
My husband, you guys all know Him, right? Well, he wrote an absolutely beautiful post for OohBother about fidelity and the keys to keeping your marriage a priority. It was heartfelt, well-written and probably would’ve helped a lot of people. However, rather than high-fiving his attempts to give some really sound advice to other Him/Her combos, I busted out crying while chopping Brussels sprouts and told him I felt the post was “too personal” and squashed his idea all together. Sure, I have a right to my own opinion, but supporting your spouse is important and if that means cannonballing into a freezing cold swimming pool every now and then – so be it.
2. Learn Grammar.
I was a journalism major in college and I literally wrote “Be Braver” for #1 and then used Google to check if “braver” was a real word. Terrible, I know. It seems that these days, basic high school-level grammatical concepts escape my grasp and don’t even get me started on my spelling abilities. All I can say is thank goodness for GrammarGirl’s Quick and Dirty Tips otherwise you’d all think I was a toothless hillbilly with a 3rd grade education. I think it’s time to remedy this.
3. Step Back.
Despite all my efforts to be a cool mom, I fear that I am in danger of becoming a helicopter parent. For those of you who don’t ht up Mommy Blogs as often as you’d like (you brilliant, brilliant souls) a helicopter parent is a parent who hovers around his or her child- duh, right? But even though I am fully aware that my son is awesome and smart and normal and a total badass on the ukelele, I still find myself worrying about whether I’m giving him enough attention, feeding him well enough, challenging him enough, giving him enough independent play time, giving him enough downtime, enforcing potty training enough, noticing illness symptoms quickly enough (Lord knows my pediatrician is sick of hearing from me), blah, blah, blah… I am truly open to suggestions on how to fix this quirk – especially because I’m about to be a mommy x 2 in about a month-and-a-half.
4. Stop Being a Tightwad.
Trust me, I know the importance of penny pinching and take great pride in sticking to a budget and hoarding coupons, but while I certainly don’t intend to deviate from this norm, I do need to loosen the death grip I have around my wallet with regards to some things. For example, the idea of earmarking ‘x’ each month to give to charity/church/friend-in-need needn’t give me hives and hiring a babysitting for a night out with “Him” shouldn’t be a source of fiscal anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, we give to charity and have date nights now and then, but I’d like to take a much more carefree approach to these important and fun parts of life, rather than cringe as an auto-draft date approaches or I text a sitter.
5. Make Fewer Lists.
Get it? But seriously, I am a list-maker. Not the jot-down-a-quick-to-do-list type of list maker, but a mental list maker. I am constantly performing mental acrobatics trying to maintain order in the chaos that is daily life. Should I do bills, laundry, dishes, phone calls, grocery shopping or grocery shopping, phone calls, laundry, bills, dishes? Don’t judge me – I am fully aware that the importance of these tasks is far from DEFCON 5, but in my mind each of them needed to be done five minutes ago and if I don’t maintain some sense of order, LIFE AS I KNOW IT IS GOING TO COME CRASHING TO THE GROUND! Sooooo Xanax?
Welp, that’s my list. It could be longer, but internet research shows that most blog readers have the attention spans of —- and I’ve lost you.
Any quasi-resolutions you want to share? Or do you feel the burning need to tell me how to complete mine? Post away!