Why This Homeschooling Momma was Forced to Turn to Chocolate

***Guest Blog by Victoria Garretson***

I feel compelled to “blog” in response to the Homeschooling Mom of “a certain blog”, who clearly has it all together. This, my dear, is the way the rest of us live! (or is it just me???)

I get up at about 6:00am. Not to exercise but because my back hurts and I have mild arthritis in my neck which invariably causes my right thumb and index finger to go numb several times each night and by 6:00 am, I have had enough! Still, it is wintertime and it’s very cold in our house since I am originally from Indiana and, because of my mid-west upbringing, feel guilty if I leave the heat on at night above 65 degrees. Luckily, my hot flashes kick in and I take advantage of these sweats to launch myself out of my bed and into my bathrobe and slippers.a

I put on a pot of coffee (not green tea), and upon opening the refrigerator I see that I have again run out of cream – probably because my 29 year-old step-son (yes, he lives with us), used the last bit. I then remember that I have a can of condensed milk in the cabinet and proceed to scoop a spoonful into my coffee , but not before I’ve stuck two other scoopfuls into my mouth. I will only count one teaspoonful on my calories chart as the two, now three, extra spoonfuls that went directly into my mouth, don’t count.

I open my Bible and daily reading – the only sweet few moments of my day – pop a few inspiring scripture verses into a text message to my grown kids. Only one of them is such a morning person as I. The rest respond by about noon – if at all.

I plan to wake the children to start their day by 8:00, but have gotten very distracted by yahoo.com.

I didn’t know that Kanye and Kim were having marital problems!

By 8:30 still in my robe, I call too loudly up the stairs at my 12 and 15 year olds.  And by 9:30, they show up in the kitchen.

I plan to have scripture studies and family reading time. Instead, I pay a bill and sit on the phone for 30 minutes with our old internet service provider trying to convince them that, yes, I did return my equipment and no, I do not have a receipt.

By Noon, I am wondering what schoolwork, if any, my two (not ten) children have accomplished. I ask them the same question three times because I am too distracted by the horrible filth of my kitchen floor – why anyone would ever lay this gross linoleum, and when will I have enough money to replace it?!

I open the refrigerator hoping to find something healthy to serve for lunch. Thank God for Amy’s soups. I will eat a salad – then later I will eat a peanut butter sandwich, the last of the soup, half a bag of veggie crispies, topped off with several handfuls of chocolate chips. I will go back to the chocolate chip bag several times during the afternoon (I keep it hidden behind the basket of dried goods in the pantry).

By 2:00, whether the children are done with school or not, I am getting stir crazy and MUST find an excuse to get out of the house !! I run to the cleaners, slide by Starbucks for a quick pick-me-up, and back home. My 15 year old is sitting on the couch with headphones on listening to music. My 12 year old has once again discovered the password to my computer and is playing his favorite online game.

I grumble, gripe, rant for five minutes at them both about the importance of being disciplined, then head into the kitchen for one more handful of chocolate chips.

It is 5:30. I have given up on keeping the well-planned school schedule hours ago and have let the kids quit for the day. I am hoping that my 15 year old is on top of her assignments for her tutorial tomorrow. (I will wait until about 9:30pm to sit down and assess the situation – why rush ??)

Once again, I stare into the refrigerator. I stare into the refrigerator. I stare into the refrigerator. I head over to Oscar’s Tacos for take-out.

The children and I eat our meal and everyone participates in the kitchen clean-up. I add the last finishing touches. I LOVE a clean kitchen and just stand and look at it a while after I am finished. I try not to leave this room. I want to savor this moment before I walk out into the rest of the clutter and disarray of my house.

My step son comes home and eats the leftovers that I was saving for tomorrow’s lunch. My husband comes home 45 minute later than I expected (though he swears that he indeed did tell me he would be here at that time).

After addressing the mess of my 12 year olds room and promising that we will deal with this tomorrow, I head back downstairs to the kitchen. Oh my once beautiful, clean, serene kitchen!! I walk back out of the kitchen. I hide myself in my bedroom until everyone has gone to bed. Then I lay my head down. I turn on my side. I feel the tingle of my numb thumb and finger.

Good night.

 

Disclaimer:

Please understand, sweet reader, that this is all tongue-in-cheek. I really do enjoy my life and one day soon, perhaps, I will take the time to write all the good. But right now, well, the cat used my basket of clean clothes for a litter box, so, I gotta go … 

 

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