Today is Father’s Day. If you didn’t know that, you’re welcome for saving you an apologetic phone call tomorrow morning on your way to work. So, today is Father’s Day. As a result, I thought it only appropriate to write a small tribute post to the the men out there who rock at the whole Ward Cleaver thing. I realize I should’ve done this on Mother’s Day as well, but well, Mother’s Day is my day off and hell if I was going to hole up by the washing machine and write a blog post on my day off. And I know what you’re thinking. – yes, that is very Tina Fey of me, but shouldn’t you really be thinking, “Isn’t that very Kelly Bandas of her?”
1. The get mad, then they get over it.
One afternoon when I was about 15, my dad (who is basically the mayor of being awesome) was tending the grill during a family backyard BBQ. No pressure. Just a few cousins over for some hamburgers and hot dogs. I’m still not exactly sure of the order of operations, but I think a rouge hamburg fell off the “done” plate and into the garden and under a bush. As a result, my usually very centered father launched his spatula and a few choice expletives into some nearby Evergreen trees – then turned to us with a smile on his face and asked “Who wants cheese?”
Dads know there’s an appropriate amount of time for being upset – and the window for it is just under 45 seconds.
2. They have “Fa-jah” strength. See the above photo…
I shouldn’t take credit for this one (but I’m going to anyway). Fa-jah strength is something Him and his buddies have joked about for years – It’s the super human strength that only dads seem to possess. From the way they can hit the batting cage for the first time in 10 years and still rip the laces off the ball to their uncanny ability to withstand dozens of stings while attempting to unclog a nest of Carpenter Bees that’s been mysteriously plugged up with soggy wad of Big League Chew – even when they are allergic to bees!
Dads are strong as shit. It’s science.
3. They know how to do everything.
My dad and my husband are both smart men, but I am consistently fascinated about just how many things they know how to do. I know how to do like, 10 things – but these guys, they know how to do everything. From building swing sets, to fixing cars, to understanding real estate law, to soothing a crying infant, to cooking salmon, to gardening, to small business management – they can do it all without ever breaking a sweat.
Somehow, once you become a dad, you suddenly know how to do stuff, like important stuff. Like fixing the cable box kind of stuff.
It’s just a dad thing, I guess.
4. They have a well documented soft spot for their daughters.
We don’t have any daughters (yet), but I know that if we did, they would have Him wrapped around their little fingers tighter than a lycra pencil skirt on Kim Kardarshian’s badonk. I know this because when my sister was eight or nine, she asked my mother for $15 to buy something really important, like a Littlest Pet Shop accessory or something. Mom had adamantly said “No.” right before leaving the house to go to a meeting, but somehow when she returned, there was Chrissy, happily playing with the latest addition to her LPS collection.
“Mark, how did Christine get the money to buy this?” my mother inquired.
“Oh, she did a few things for me.” my dad responded casually.
“Um… some cartwheels.”
Hahahahah. I still laugh about that one.
5. They support their kids always and in all ways.
(If you watch Million Dollar Listing NYC, keep your mouth shut)
My dad not only started and ran his own successful business to support our family financially, he supported us in every other crazy venture we ever took on. He coached every team, showed up at every game, cheered every victory and agonized over every defeat. He went to concerts with us, built us tree houses, drove my brother to 5am hockey practices and flew to Nashville just to help me paint my new apartment.
In short – he’s been rocking it for 29 years and counting.
So, Happy Father’s Day to all those dads out there who are killing it day in and day out. Your hard work does not go unnoticed. We love you.
Please feel free to use our comments section to leave a shout out for you dad that he will most likely never read.