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life

Her

Ken Griffey Jr. Still Owes Me an Apology

I consider myself a cautious person. I wore wrist-guards, while roller blading as a kid. I make sure I choose the eggs with the furthest possible expiration date at the grocery store. I don’t care for blinking red lights; they leave too much to chance. I’m not what you’d call…

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Her

Why I Haven’t Written in a While

I haven’t written in a while because, well – life happened. It’s not an excuse, but it’s a reason. My parents have been visiting (which is great), the kids have been sick (which is not so great) and we’ve been trying our best to carve out some much needed family time…

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Him

I’m So Cool In My Own House

I’m sitting in my living room watching a children’s show called Dinosaur Train. It’s a computer animated show featuring a family of pteranodons (the flyers) who also adopted a little t-rex (the little arms, water vibrating in Jurassic Park ones) and they take this train all over the place and…

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Him

Brad Pitt Wipes His Ass

Seriously. I hate to have to be the one to break it to you. I know it’s disappointing, but Brad endures standard human toilet sessions and even Jennifer Lawrence has personal insecurities and wonders what people think about her. How do I know this? Because they’re human! Don’t get me…

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Him

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself in 3 Simple Steps

You don’t care about anyone but yourself. And neither do I. Well, to clarify, I don’t care about anyone but myself, not yourself. This was true at one point, until I learned a few things the hard way. When I first quit Love and Theft (that’s right, I was once…

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Her

“So, there’s this house…”

So, there’s this house. I don’t know the owners and I’ve never actually been inside, but I can say with absolute certainty that I’ve never given any other house this much thought in my life. So, this house, it’s not a bad little number.  It’s painted a soft yellow and…

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