I have a very vivid (and cringeworthy) memory of being in college and casually saying the following to a friend:

“I wish that there was just a magic pill I could take that would make me feel drunk instantly, without actually having to drink anything.”

Her response?

“That’s called “drugs”, Kelly.”


I definitely don’t want a magic get-drunk-quick pill anymore (oh my gosh, did I really ever say that!?), but what I am in the market for is something that instantly takes me from pre-coffee, under-a-bridge troll state, to the chipper, somewhat together mommy I become 10 minutes after my second cup o’ Joe.

Because before my coffee, I am the absolute worst version of myself. I shuffle. I moan. I snap. I let cartoons drone on endlessly in the background. Basically, I’m Roseanne Barr – but without the laugh track.

But after my coffee, giiiiiiirl please. It’s basically like Mary Poppins up in here. Okay, not exactly, but you know what I’m talking about. Suddenly, I’m crafting. I’m setting play dates. I’m singing impromptu songs about poopy diaper sandwiches.

So, where does this leave me? I suppose it leaves me with the notion that each moment of raising a family – even the whiny, snappy, Roseanne-y moments are valuable. That even as the very worst version of myself, I can still appreciate the tiny dot of 2% milk on the apple of Oliver’s cheek and the carefree way Archie side-shuffles down the hall. It leaves me with the idea that I don’t need to wait for something (like coffee) to occur, before the next thing can begin. Because this is it, right now. We are here and this is happening.

With or without caffeine.