Ah, game night. What a wholesome, thoughtful and meaningful way to spend time as a family. I mean, what could be more Rockwellian than our humble little family of four, sitting ’round the dining room table, rolling dice and spinning spinners until we collectively cheer for the deserving winner of one of our favorite board games for boys?
Um, pretty much anything. That’s what.
Because when you are part of a red-blooded, competitive family, like ours – nothing unravels into complaining and boredom-induced fake fart sounds faster than time spent playing board games together.
Now that’s not to say that we don’t give it the old college try every once in a while (what does that mean anyway, ‘the old college try’? Because if I’m remembering correctly, there was not a time in my life when I tried less than when I was in college…) and muster up the gumption to spend some quality time together playing board games. And you know what I’ve learned from each and every one of those experiences?
Board games for boys actually DO deserve all the fake fart sounds. Here’s why:
CHUTE me in the face and Ladders
On the whole, I don’t mind playing this one, but I am 99% sure that the final extra-long “chute” in this game was put there by some sadomasochist at Hasbro, who wanted nothing more than to push parents to their absolute limit. Because nothing causes a meltdown faster than a 3-year-old being told that after 87 spaces of good counting and rule-following, he has to go back to the beginning and assume the position of “loser”.
We’re all in TROUBLE
Even as a kid, I hated this game. I have to get a specific number JUST to earn the right to start moving my piece? What kind of nonsense is this? And you want each player to pop the popper only ONCE per turn? Had the creators of this game ever even met a child? We’ve modified the rules to this game a bit, to make playing it slightly more tolerable, but curiously many of the pieces to this game appear to have gone missing.
I’m sure I haven’t been accidentally throwing them away or vacuuming them up…
This is SORRY
So what exactly is this game again? We pick up cards and move the number of space on the card, until we land on someone else’s piece and LAUNCH it across the living room? Because that sounds like a concept created by bunch of stoned high schoolers eating churros under the bleachers.
Guess Who’s Gone Soft
I am a fan of Guess Who. The original Guess Who. You know the one where there were a bunch of goofy-looking adults with funky mustaches and oddball hairlines? That game was the jam. But this generation’s Guess Who has morphed into guessing which under water sea creature or American-style dinner food your opponent has selected and it’s just plain boring.
And I’m all for gender equality, but one of the beauties about the original version of Guess Who was that were were like four chicks on the whole game board. Typically, if you were lucky enough to choose one of those gals, you were guaranteed a victory. Now that the game has gone all 2018 – no such luck. But I suppose we should be cheering for these little victories, am I right ladies 🤦🏻♀️?
So this Friday night, when you’re looking for something to do together as a family, might I suggest that instead of pulling out your old reliables from Milton Bradley or Parker Brothers, you take a beat and rethink that plan. At our house, we’ve implemented a Friday Night Pizza & Legos Night. It’s all the interaction and family bonding you’re looking for, but with a lot more hot cheese and lot less moving tiny pieces in concentric circles.