Do you ever sit around and think about how easy life is?
No, because I have a million things to do, none of them simple and who the hell are you to tell me life is easy? What is your problem? Your blog sucks.
No, I don’t mean that life is easy and we should all be counting our lucky stars with each revolution of our circulatory system, I just mean that there are so many things out there, designed, created and produced, simply to make our lives easier. And so I let them!
Here are a few of my favorites…
Inconspicuous it is not, but somewhere between Kid #1 and Kid #2 I lost my potty training mojo and it became necessary. Because you guys, potty training was too hard and I had already given up twice. I needed it to be easier. So I found a thing that made it easier.
Because literally, chopping vegetables with a knife takes literally a million hours and I just don’t know who has that much time. Literally.
I have lots to do. You probably do too. Because of this, we all chronically feel stressed and like we are owed a massage from someone for this aforementioned stress. Unfortunately, our spouses feel the exact same way and thus, do not have the time or emotional resources to dole out a proper, “Thanks for being my wife/girlfriend/life partner!” back rub. Enter this little rolly-ball thingy. My request for a massage to massage fulfillment ratio has skyrocketed since this little guy entered our lives and I promise you that now, even my two-year-old offers his services!
A subtle vegetable-theme is emerging in this post and I’ll tell you why – I have no earthly idea know how to get my
children, oldest child, to eat vegetables without chopping them up into mite-sized pieces and disguising them with peanut butter and chocolate. Thus this device. At this point I’m pretty much convinced that the entire cast of Rescue Bots could show up at my house with a message from Optimus Prime about the importance of eating cruciferous vegetables and Oliver would do nothing more than omit a giant guffaw in their robot/alien faces.
So until something changes, my veggie chopper, NutriBullet and I will be working on our own little scheme to take over my son’s digestive tract, one handful of spinach at a time.
This example might be a little left-of-center, but let me ‘splain. Keeping my kids entertained is not an easy thing. Not that entertaining them is my job; I know I’m their mother, not their friend and they should use their own brains to play imaginatively and investigate solutions to social problems, blah blah blah. Yes, I know all that. But when I’m trying to cook dinner and I need a something, nay anything, to keep my kids from grabbing at my ankles every five minutes: enter Lightsabers.
Yes, they are weapons. Yes, they make noise. And yes, they could definitely hurt someone. But, they also the best toy to come along since Legos and although I haven’t technically “seen” a Star Wars film before, I like to think that in addition to keeping my children occupied for minutes on end, these toys help them develop a sense of right vs. wrong. That’s what Star Wars is all about, right? Oh you’ve already clicked away because you’re so disgusted with the fact that I’ve never seen the defining trilogy of our generation?
Don’t look now, but I’ve also never seen Lord of the Rings or Indiana Jones.
I know. Worst person ever.
But if you can get past that (and if you can’t, I totally get it), I think you could find that the 5 things that make my life easier, might actually make yours easier too. And if not, you can always try these: