5 Reasons the Super Bowl Wasn’t a Total Suckfest

Last night I watched the Super Bowl completely alone.

Feel bad for me yet?  Because if you don’t – you should. Last night I watched the Super Bowl completely alone because I had the one of the most violently horrific cases of food poisoning ever documented in the history of the world. Yes, it was that bad.

But because I watched the Super Bowl alone (my sweet husband, who I also poisoned with food, although perhaps slightly less so, took our son to a party next-door.)  and undistracted by a bevy of tempting snacks, I was really able to focus in on some important aspects of last night’s game. Well, no not the game exactly. The game was atrocious. If I wanted to watch something that pitiful, I could’ve easily just sat around looking in a mirror all night.

No, I’m talking about the real reason 99.9% of girls watch the Super Bowl – the commercials. What? No, I love football! I always watch the game!  Shut up.  If your team’s not playing, you’re not watching the game.  Don’t be a hero.

Okay, so the commercials. Was it just me or were they like, extra sentimental and America-y this year? I get the basic mathematics that football = America and all, but c’mon.  Bob Dylan doing the voiceover for Chrysler? Pass.  However, despite my overall disappointment, there were a few Super Bowl commercial highlights I’d like to discuss…

1. Hyundai

I loved this one and not just because the dad getting wailed in the chest with the piñata bat was hilarious.  This commercial had all the right aspects of the perfect ad – great song choice, great premise and great job not shoving your message down our throats. Nice work Hyundai. Hey every other car company (besides you Honda, you’re alright) pay attention!  

2. New Castle

Who knew this company had enough dough to pull off a Super Bowl ad?  But I guess that’s sort of the whole point – they don’t.  Anna Kendrick is fabulous as the ‘hot girl from your improv class’ and I really appreciated the hairdresser behind her who spent 2 1/2 minutes doing absolutely nothing of note to her hair.  The whole thing played a little bit too hard to the “we’re watching the Super Bowl ironically” crowd, but overall was still a winner in my book.  

3. RadioShack

Yeah, the whole “The 80’s called…” line is like so 2005, but it’s good to see that RadioShack has finally caught up with the rest of the civilized world and realized that their store is terrible.  Extra props to them for getting almost every famous person from the 80’s to participate.  Yeah, I’m talking about you Mary Lou Rhetton.

4. Sqaurespace

I’m not 100% sure what this product actually is, but it sort of looks like it does something to take all the bad stuff out of my internet – which I like.  Not to mention, our friend Francis is the “People who bought this…” robot. We’re famous!

5. Oikos

I think Greek yogurt tastes like expired sour cream, but if you’re branding scheme reunites Danny Tanner, Joey Gladstone and Jesse Katsopolis, you just bought yourself a customer for life. 

There you have it. The few reasons why Bruno Mars wasn’t the only highlight of last night’s festivities and pretty much the only reasons I managed to not pass out in a puddle of my own drool before 8pm.  Congratulations to those mentioned and to those who weren’t, I pity you.


In the comments section below, please leave your predictions for next year’s Super Bowl winner. Or any other comment, for that matter.


tandem logo small

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


%d bloggers like this: